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Theatre on the Square, Nelson Mandela Square at Sandton City
Celebrating its 17th year in Sandton!
2013 Theatre Line-Up
“The stage is not merely the meeting place of all the arts,
but is also the return of art to life.” – Oscar Wilde
Daphne Kuhn will be presenting another entertaining and challenging year of quality theatre for 2013
The “Little Gem, on Nelson Mandela Square” is jam packed with enough laughs, delights and dramatic moments to keep you snug and warm during the chilly winter season.
Two Dames grace our stage during the Winter season at the Theatre on the Square.
We are also joined by an international act who will help melt away those winter blues.
And if that’s not enough, we have a string load of local artists who guarantee to put a smile on our faces.
More music, naughty chuckles and spicy stand up is scheduled to tickle your fancy.
| AN AUDIENCE WITH PIETER-DIRK EISH! : 6 - 25 May |
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EVITA SE PERRON present at the Theatre on the Square, Sandton
AN AUDIENCE WITH PIETER-DIRK EISH!
with PIETER DIRK UYS
"Uys dons false eyelashes and presidents listen."
- Los Angeles Times October 2010
Fifteen cardboard boxes on stage. Each filled with characters and stories. And Pieter-Dirk Uys.
That’s all the visual required to turn his latest show into an evening to be talked about long after the fact. Now in his late sixties, Pieter-Dirk Uys can vividly recall the recent history of South Africa with ease and is probably the most up to date person on current South African politics. He engages his audiences, speaking to the young, the expat, the gay and the gatvol.
An Audience with Pieter-Dirk EISH is just that. With the choice of fifteen boxes on stage, a member of the audience chooses a number. Outcome characters and entertainment that could be a drama, a comedy, a farce or a shocking expose. Every box holds a familiar laugh, all truly South African!
Every night the show and the characters will be different. Still inspired by his scriptwriters, the government of the day, Pieter-Dirk Uys takes a night to present his life in theatre, on stage, through satire, celebrating survival - frocked or unfrocked - ever transparent. In conversation with an audience usually means a dialogue, a Q & A, a grilling and often a roasting. This might be all of those, interspersed with some of the 80 characters from his 38 years in the political arena, brandishing his weapon of mass distraction: humour.
In our world of reality TV, breaking news, 400 television channels to surf through, Facebook, Twitter, YouTube and SMS, choice has become the cherry on the cake of entertainment. Meet those in our Rainbow Nation who will help us laugh at our fear of an unchartered future. Pieter-Dirk Uys presents a celebration of free speech, an orgy of laughing at sacred cows, an embrace of being in a relatively healthy young democracy. Come and enjoy it all while it lasts. A different show each night, depending on the choices of the audience, might force future thought-police to buy tickets for each show, just in case a state secret is let out of a box, in contravention of the Protection of State Information Act!
"Eish! What a ride. Delicious conspiracy of positive thoughts. There are sly jokes about contemporary politicians and barbed quips fly quick and fast. The whole show is like that: funny until you realise he is not really making a joke because he is trying to get you to laugh at what you don't take seriously enough. Uys manages to imbue his performance with a positive message without being corny. He does it with his usual aplomb." Theresa Smith Cape Argus Tonight 6/11/2012
"Uys's love of the theatre is contagious. His clarion call to guard democracy with vigour is delivered in sharp sound bytes. Uys is as rich a source as any of relevant commentary on both the historical and current political situation - a timely reminder of the relevance of theatre, and satire in particular, to the political and social fabric of society." Tracey Saunders Cape Times 5/11/2012
"Intimate, thought-provoking and spellbinding. Pieter-Dirk Uys's raw and brutally honest opinions give us the freedom to laugh at ourselves, but also force us to take a good, long look at what is happening around us." Louisa Steyl TygerBurger 6/11/2012
"See a national treasure perform and experience a history lesson that is funny, uplifting and sad at different times - always conveyed with honesty, tongue in cheek humour and a twinkle in the eye." CT today.co.za 1/11/2012
"Take a walk on the Dirkside. Humour and a bit of introspection is a great force." Clifford Graham Monday Missile.com 4/11/2012
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 | BOOK NOW FOR THIS SHOW | Strictly Tickets - 082 553 5901 |
Tony Yoko presents GERSHWIN SONGBOOK
Sunday 26th May at 4pm
Jazz Concert – A Tribute to George Gershwin
starring the phenomenal Charl Du Plessis Trio with vocalist Musa. This will be a jazz concert with a difference! Charl du Plessis (also known as The Piano Man) specializes in taking “classics” and giving it his very unique jazz interpretation.
| FRANCOIS VAN COKE & ARNO CARSTENS UNPLUGGED: 19 & 20 May @ 7pm |
Arno Carstens and Francois van Coke will pair up during the month of May, performing in Cape Town, Sandton and Pretoria as part of an unplugged collaboration series that will include Springbok Nude Girls, Fokofpolisiekar and Van Coke Cartel hits, as well popular tracks from Arno Carstens solo career and a few covers from both artists.
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| BOOK NOW FOR THIS SHOW | Strictly Tickets - 082 553 5901 |
| DIRT: 28 May – 8 June |
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DIRT
by Nick Warren
directed by Jenine Collocott
with James Cairns
After the success of the Award Winning SUNDAY MORNING, we are pleased to have back at the newly re named Auto & General Theatre on the Square, the dynamic duo - Nick Warren (playwright) and Jenine Collocott (director) with their latest comedy DIRT.
The production stars James Cairns who plays the roles of Grant, Sam and Wayne; three childhood friends trapped in a car, on their way to their late friend’s funeral. This can only lead to a trip of wild laughs and a crazy adventure for all.
On a journey from Johannesburg to Cape Town, a trio of guys trade insinuations, insults, and injuries as they try to dig up the past and bury the present. Having gone their separate ways for almost a year, the poker club is back together.
Grant is nervous about giving the eulogy for a man he admired greatly but could ever live up to. Sam is still angry about the last time they saw each other and can’t see the point in having male friends anyway. Wayne is sad that their friend is dead but can’t help thinking that this is his best chance to finally get rid of the dog with the embarrassing habit. All these emotions, characters and movements are played by the award winning James Cairns who makes his debut at the Auto & General Theatre on the Square in Sandton.
Driving high-speed through some painful, poignant and often hilarious territory, they arrive at the graveside with some serious injuries and some surprising insights about the nature of friendship.
“Thrilling lies, ringing ironies, hilarious gags… it changed my life” – Zane Henry, The Argus
“One of the funniest actors in the country.” – Sunday Times
“I thought I was having an asthma attack I was laughing so hard.” – Megan’s Head
“Nothing short of a triumph” – Peter Tromp, Another 48 Hours
“It is phenomenal!!” – yoursoapbox.co.za
“A masterclass in solo stagecraft “– Karen Rutter, Cape Times
“…in ‘n klas van sy eie.” – Deborah Steinmair, Die Burger
“Cairns is almost so good at what he does it’s almost ridiculous.” – artsblog.co.za
“The performance of the festival…” - Western Australian, World Fringe, Perth
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| BOOK NOW FOR THIS SHOW | Strictly Tickets - 082 553 5901 |
| Solomon and Marion: 10 - 30 June |
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Written and directed by Lara Foot
starring Dame Janet Suzman and Khayalethu Anthony
Set design by Patrick Curtis
Lighting design by Mannie Manim
Following its overwhelming success at the Baxter in 2011, Dame Janet Suzman and Khayalethu Anthony reprise their roles in Lara Foot’s award-winning play Solomon and Marion, which earned both actors Fleur du Cap nominations. The Argus Tonight and Die Burger both gave it four stars.
The production brings together two very dynamic theatre luminaries when author and director Foot tackles her own two-hander with Suzman in the role of Marion. Suzman is an internationally-acclaimed and respected South African-born actress and director.
In Solomon and Marion two very different characters, an ageing and heartbroken English white woman and a young black man, from opposite spectrums of the South African context, each carrying narratives of significant loss, are thrown together by extraordinary circumstances.
Through delicate and careful story-telling, a transition is facilitated from a condition of darkness to hope. The characters come face to face with their own and each other's fears, culpability and longing, which gradually turn to empathy and ultimately to the revelation of truth.
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| BOOK NOW FOR THIS SHOW | Strictly Tickets - 082 553 5901 |
| DON’T SHOOT ME – I’M ONLY THE PIANO PLAYER: 2 - 6 July |
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with DAVID SCHEEL from Australia
2nd – 6th July
ONE WEEK ONLY!
with international musician and comedy star a la Victor Borge, Peter Ustinov and Robin Williams
“A master of the keyboard” (The Times, Critics’ Choice, London)
“Brilliant mayhem! He is master of improvisation, accents, comedy and down-right beautiful music” (Adelaide Advertiser, Australia)
“The cleanest, funniest show in London” (The Stage, London)
“A unique combination of classical piano music and comedy” (CBS TV, USA)
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| BOOK NOW FOR THIS SHOW | Strictly Tickets - 082 553 5901 |
| NOTHING FUNNY: 9 - 20 July |
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with Damon Berry and Joe Vaz
Directed by Rob van Vuuren
When two dim-witted actors find themselves on stage with no script, they foolishly attempt to entertain the audience. After improvising and arguing, they find out that they are not starring in a comedy at all. In fact, if the synopsis that poor Greg Lunz and Rob O’ discover is correct, they may be starring in a tragic masterpiece. Which wouldn’t be so bad really, except for the fact that they might both be dead by the end of the show. Which just plain sucks.
Can the two men avoid their destiny? It might not be so easy, when neither of them know how they got there in the first place. There are many questions, but getting the right answer might not be so easy when you have a fool for a companion…
Writer Damon Berry has crafted an ingenious and sharp tragicomedy that is both funny and off the wall. An imaginative and entertaining play about friendship, meaning and underpants.
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| BOOK NOW FOR THIS SHOW | Strictly Tickets - 082 553 5901 |
| LOVE AND PROZAC: 24 July - 17 August |
Directed by John Trengove
Written by and starring Sonia Esgueira
Sonia Esgueira star of the smash hit Porra trilogy has created a new and utterly fabulous comedy on love, dating and everything in-between. Directed by the Emmy nominated John Trengove, this multi- award winning duo bring you LOVE AND PROZAC
Shapeshifting from one hilarious character to the next, Esgueira ponders being single in ones thirties with uproarious results.
Esgueira's sassy, side splitting performance raked in 5 star reviews from critics. Known for her chameleon like transformations on stage, Esgueira brings us her finest comedy yet, painting eccentric Portuguese mothers, sleazy sugar daddy's and pesky Kugels with aplomb.
Following one woman's rather desperate attempt to snag herself a Hollywood Ending, whatever the costs, she investigates what it means to find love in a fast paced 21st Century.
Whether your status is single, married, divorced or "complicated", this comedy gives you a hilarious and sometimes uncomfortable glimpse into yourself and just how far we will go to find "The One".
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| BOOK NOW FOR THIS SHOW | Strictly Tickets - 082 553 5901 |
| THOSE INDIAN GUYS: 21 - 31 August |
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with Sans Moonsamy and Kaseran Pillay
Sans Moonsamy & Kaseran Pillay, otherwise known as Those Indian Guys, are bringing their hit comedy to the Theatre on the Square for a limited run of shows in August this year.
This is a 'Best Of' of the sell out successes 'Those Indian Guys '1' and its hilarious sequel and a few new sparks as well. We have taking some of the funniest bits from the two shows, re-worked them and added some new bits to create almost a brand new show. This floor- stomping, side-splitting comedy is not to be missed, thanks to the wacky performance style of Kaseran and Sans as they seamlessly transform into several sweet but naughty characters.
This show come with a warning: Please consult your doctor if you are not allowed to laugh for 80 minutes non-stop. Carry an asthma pump even if you don't have asthma. The clever, witty and very naughty sketch comedy shows are a zany exploration of Indian identity and culture. Both these hit comedies have played to packed houses all over the country, including The Globe Theatre @ Gold Reef City, and at Emperors Palace, The Playhouse in Durban, Port Elizabeth, Artscape in Cape Town and both Sans and Kaseran have been nominated for ‘Best Performance in a Comedy’ - for Those Indian Guys at The Mercury Durban Theatre Awards. It really is South African comedy with a delicious Indian flavour and as we call it 'Comedy with an East Infection'
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| BOOK NOW FOR THIS SHOW | Strictly Tickets - 082 553 5901 |
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FRIDAY LUNCH HOUR CLASSICAL CONCERTS
2013 Line-up at the Theatre on the Square
Concerts take place every Friday at 12h45 for 1pm.
Tickets are only R35 and include coffee and biscuits.
17 May
"A Nightingale Sang..."
Cat Simoni sings the great songwriters
South African-born Cat's ten years playing and singing at the Steinways and Bechsteins of London's 5-star hotels (The Ritz, Dorchester) and exclusive private clubs, (The Royal Automobile Club, The Reform Club & Berkeley Square Casino) has meant that she is superbly equipped to interpret some of the greatest songs ever written! Cat's renditions of the work of musical geniuses like Cole Porter, George Gershwin, Steven Sondheim, Richard Rodgers and Jerome Kern, will quite simply take your breath away.
25 May
UMOYA WOODWIND ENSEMBLE
MALANE HOFMEYR BURGER (flute), LESLEY STANSELL (oboe), Phillip Coetzee (clarinet), Penelope Ives (bassoon) and Sharon Armer (horn)
31 May
OPERA AFRICA
Young professional artists will present a new programme of classical songs
7 June
CELLO AND PIANO DUET
with CAREL HENN (cello) and MART-MARIE SNYMAN (piano)
Works by Dmitri Shostakovich & Claude Debussy
We reserve the right to alter or change programmes without prior notice.
For further media info. call Daphne Kuhn or Mika Stefano on tel. 011-883-8606
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THE THEATRE ON THE SQUARE AT SANDTON'S NELSON MANDELA SQUARE IS THE PERFECT VENUE FOR FESTIVE SEASON SHOWS / FUNCTIONS / CORPORATE ENTERTAINMENT/ PRODUCT LAUNCHES AND PRESENTATIONS
The Theatre on the Square at Sandton's Nelson Mandela Square is the perfect entertainment venue!
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THEATRE TIMES AND SPECIAL OFFERS
20:15 Tues - Fri and 18:00 & 20:30 on Saturdays
DINNER/SHOW PACKAGES - R320 +/- plus at leading restaurants on the Nelson Mandela Square - Lekgotla Restaurant, Montego Bay, The Butcher Shop and Grill and Wangthai. This includes a three course meal as well as the theatre tickets.
THE HIRE OF THEATRE (200 seats)
for corporate functions, presentations etc including all technical facilities, use of auditorium, foyer for function etc: R6,000 exclusive per day.
HIRE OF THEATRE FOR A CORPORATE FUNCTION - R6,000.00 per day excluding VAT
HIRE OF THEATRE FOR A FUNCTION AND TO INCLUDE SHOW (catering can be arranged)
for 200 people: R110 x 200 according to the show
HIRE OF THEATRE FOR A FUNCTION AND TO INCLUDE SHOW (catering can be arranged) for 200 people: R110 x 200 according to the show
FUNDRAISERS - we offer you a special discount - R90 x 200 seats - you mark up the price
The usual Ticket price range is listed below BUT PLEASE check above under each production listing for more detail:
NORMAL TICKET PRICE - R120.00 - R200.00
STUDENTS / SENIORS - R80.00 - R100.00
SCHOOL GROUPS - R50.00
GROUP BOOKINGS - Less 10% for 10 or more
FRIENDS OF THE THEATRE: R250 / R350 per year
CORPORATE MEMBERSHIP: R8,000.00 p.a. plus VAT
FUNDRAISERS - For Sold Out houses (200 tickets)
R100 x 200 You mark up the ticket price!
ENQUIRIES: CALL DAPHNE KUHN (Owner/Producer) on tel 011-883-8606
BOOKINGS:
- Online: www.strictlytickets.com;
- Call the Box Office on tel 011 883 8606
- Call the StrictlyTickets Call Centre on 082 553 5901 or
- for further information call Daphne Kuhn on 083 377 4969
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